I hate it so much it just keeps eating me I cant keep it up

Nobody understans Im all lalone I want my mom to feed me again I want to disappear completely I dont want to do anything I just want to sleep all day but they dont let me why why why do you not alloww this is god even real does it really exist what if im not real, because if im not real nothing can stop me from aanything no one can save me from this pain no one can stop me from jumping off of my balcony existence is

This is

pain then why do i keep living this is just another day with chaos im the chaos everybıdy hates chaos and nobody loves me I get lost in the arms of the pain of existence im alive just to suffer im just a fast racing car with no soul for them they use me and they broke me im broken like a toy doll and beyong repair because of pain i trust my lungs MY IRON LUNGS my iron lungs can save me from the chaos im in but they broke them too thats why ill keep breathing i-until i die im still alive but i wish i wasnt

breathing breathing breathing i want to go to a place called home but i dont know where it is i dont have a home i have nobody im all by myself and i keep talking with myself, im shattering into pieces no one is collecting them theyre disappearing very quickly like time and i want time to stop why do i exist

kill me.